Adults Only: The long-lasting sex toy
What's the truth about "old faithful"?
A fun story appeared on a news website tonight. Have a read on the link.
When I read it, I noticed a conflicting fact. In her message to Ann Summers Amy says the vibrator has broken “today”, in the interview she says she kept it for sometime after it failed.
That made me ask why she sent Ann Summers the message. My initial reaction was ‘to get a free replacement’. Was that fair? I sent the article to someone else and asked what they thought. The reply? “She wanted a free one”.
Can we both be wrong?
Let’s analyse the words
Well, what can I say...
Approximately 14 years ago I bought what was then a top of the range 'pink rabbit' I was only 20ish earning very little and the price of this rabbit was sickening, but the lady that was our host was so convincing (the vodka jellies helped) and I purchased it against my better judgement!
Let me tell you right now...
Through thick and thin and times of need, three children four house moves and a failed marriage included my old faithful companion has decided to part ways with me today.
My bestie completely detached from his throne and will carry in my journey with me no more!
(I think she means carry “on” but what a glorious slip!)
What a bloody fantastic value for money. I think it was around £50 so when I work that out that's £3.36 per month! Better than any bloke!
Please advise me of a similar product, and after 14 years I can only hope in excitement of the technology advances!
Here are some tips to quickly look at someone’s words to see what is going on:
Look at the tenses
Amy’s use of tenses is almost perfect. Everything you’d expect to be in past tense because it happened in the past, is in past tense. It’s the same for anything in the present and in the future.
No deception is indicated here
Look at the pronouns
Amy uses personal pronouns like “I”, “my” and “me” a lot through the words. She’s taking ownership of what she’s saying, a positive here.
There is one point of note around her pronouns. She doesn’t use any personal pronouns when she sums up her major life events over the past 14 years, until she mentions her vibrator:
Through thick and thin and times of need, three children four house moves and a failed marriage included my old faithful companion has decided to part ways with me today.
It’s not the point of this analysis, but Amy creates distance between her and her children and her marriage. Not the vibrator, which is “my old faithful companion”.
Look at what’s repeated
If you want to see what’s important to someone in their words, look at which words or concepts the person repeats.
Here it’s spending and money. Let's count the number of times:
1. “I bought”
2. “earning very little”
3. “the price of this rabbit”
4. “I purchased it”
5. “Through thick and thin” (often used to described financial circumstances)
6. “times of need”
7. “fantastic value for money”
8. “was around £50”
9. “£3.36 a month” (her maths are rubbish, by the way)
That’s a lot of mentions for money in a message that’s apparently about a fun sex aid.
It’s entirely fair to get the impression that money is a big thing for Amy, and she seems very price sensitive. Maybe she doesn’t have a lot of money to spare. Possibly she just likes a bargain.
But can I say she messaged Ann Summers in the hope of getting a free replacement?
It’s very possible. Amy mentions money all the way through her message, apart from when she talks about the replacement. Here she doesn’t mention any money-oriented words such as “buy” or “purchase”, she doesn’t mention her budget or any intention to pay for the replacement at all. It’s at odds with all her other words.
Conclusion
Amy is a great storyteller and put a smile on my face. Yes, I reckon she was trying to get a free replacement, but there’s no harm in that. She doesn’t appear to tell any malicious lies in her message. It’s not like she’s spinning a yarn to get something she doesn’t deserve.
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