How to tell if a dating profile is truth or lies
We all know dating profiles are like adverts. People present the “best” of themselves and hide away the other parts.
How do you know what’s really being said in a dating profile? How can you avoid wasting a valuable swipe and precious energy on the wrong person? More importantly, can you work out which profiles will work best for you?
Here’s a quick way to scan a dating profile to see what’s going on underneath.
Pronouns
Which pronouns are in use? If there are numerous personal pronouns like “I”, “my” and “me” then the person is taking ownership of what they say, and it’s more likely honest. If those pronouns are lacking, they’re not owning it, and it’s less likely to be honest.
There’s a world of difference between:
“I’m a fun-loving person, whose passions are my friends, my pets, and my work”
and
“A fun-loving person, passions are friends, pets, and work”
Ordering
Look at the order they mention things in their profile. They’ll mention the most important things first, the least important things last.
Compare
“My passions are my friends, my pets, and my work”
with
“My passions are my work, my pets, and my friends”
Commitment
Dating profiles are mini-resumes in which the posters want to show they are three-dimensional people who lead a varied and active life.
Some of them don’t say that. Beware of lines like “I like going to the gym, taking in live music and am a big fan of live theatre”.
This shows what the person LIKES, it doesn’t say they DO any of those things.
I’m a fan of lying by the pool with a Sangria, but I haven’t done it for two years.
You’re looking for commitment in the words, for example, “I’m an avid gym goer and regularly spend my nights going to see live music. Getting to the theatre once a month is a must for me”.
Another word to be wary of in this context is “try”. As in, “I try to go to hiking at weekends” or “I try to have fun with my friends”. Try implies a desire but not success.
The Future
What does the profile say about the future? Does that match with the future you want?
If someone says they’re looking to meet people, that explicitly says they only have one meeting in mind. Either they just want hook-ups or they're not optimistic about their chances of meeting the right person.
The same would apply if they don’t mention the future at all.
Do they use the pronoun “we” when talking about the future? That implies they’re thinking longer term and about creating a union with someone.
Go for it
Use these tips to get beyond the words on the profile. You’ll learn more about the person than they meant to tell you. Once you’re better informed, then decide to swipe the way you want.
Let’s get interactive, is there a profile you’d like me to look at? Drop it in the comments below, and I’ll do a quick decode!