January Newsletter: Question EVERYTHING!
Hi,
Welcome to the January 2025 Newsletter. As always, the aim is to load you with hints and tips to better understand the words you see and hear by decoding what’s going on underneath the surface.
Question Evasion
One of the easiest ways to spot if a subject being deceptive is to look at how they answer questions. Do they take on the meaning and content of the question asked? Or does the person subtly change the topic under discussion by moving towards a subject they’re more comfortable discussing?
Have a watch of this video, it’s an extreme example!
We can assume she really doesn’t want to say why the workers are striking. She might think she’s cleverly sidestepping the issue and making Amazon look good, but we can fairly conclude the reasons for the strike are sensitive and stress inducing. She’s going to extreme lengths to avoid talking about those reasons and twisting the conversation to deal with invites and worker’s rights which she feels much more comfortable discussing.
It’s such an extreme example which really helps highlight how the principal works. Usually the avoidance of a certain sensitive subject is more subtle.
Here’s an excerpt of trial testimony - if the Amazon video is blatant, this is more covert. Do you see what’s going on?
The question is about killing and the answers are about hurt and harm. We can conclude that talk of killing is something they want to avoid.
In that very short excerpt we also have severity softening with killing being softened to hurting, and three uses of the red flag word “never”.
It’s not at all surprising the person who gave those answers is serving life.
Personal definitions
The other day I got this text message:
Now this was confusing. The engineer was during around 6 hours later, but the text said they were coming “soon”! Was the engineer coming shortly? Did I have the time wrong? Did BT have the time wrong?
Or did it all come down to our personal definitions of “soon”? We all know what soon means but its definition doesn’t include a specific number range.
I can say “food will be ready soon” and mean I’ll have supper on the table in 10 minutes.
A pregnant woman can say “the baby will be here soon” and mean her child will be born with in 10 weeks.
A newspaper headline can say “We’ll soon all be driving electric vehicles” and mean our cars will be electric in 10 years.
Three uses of the word “soon”, three hugely different time frames.
How is this used in deception?
In general, we don’t like lying. Sometimes that goes to ridiculous lengths where we find a form words to say something that makes us feel comfortable. Those words we feel we can justify as the truth, however any reasonable person hearing those words would take a very different meaning from them.
Those words give the liar a security blanket, if challenged, they can say “I didn’t lie, you just misunderstood what I said”.
The most famous use of this is Bill Clinton’s “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”. You and I may think of “sexual relations” as anything sexual between two people. Bill could say "to me, sexual relations means actual sex by two people in a relationship. We didn’t have full sex and there was no relationship so I didn’t lie”
Now, most of us wouldn’t buy that, but that doesn’t matter at the point the lie is told. The liar gains comfort by convincing themselves “I’m telling the truth”.
You might also remember Amber Heard saying she used “pledge” and “donate” as synonyms. It’s possible in this situation that Amber felt more comfortable talking about the pledges she made, rather than the donations she didn’t.
Disinformation Station
The recent fires in Los Angeles lead to lots of disinformation floating around on social media. How do you spot disinformation?
This - false - report on X has two of the hallmarks of a disinformation message on social media.
These also work on the proposition that, if called out, the person making the claim can say “I didn’t lie” and avoid losing face.
The tells are:
Second hand information; if it’s wrong the poster can say “I was only passing on what I heard, I didn’t lie”. Here it’s “I just heard from my brother”. This concept is often expressed as “I’m hearing…” or “People are getting in touch saying…”
The “bad” consequence that is being shared is in the form of a possibility rather than a certainty. In this post it’s the “they likely won’t pass inspection”, often the bad consequence is stated as a question.
Here’s another fake post with both of these hallmarks.
In a nutshell
Remember, in general, people would much rather avoid lying. If you can spot when that’s happening, you’re much closer to uncovering the truth.
Do you have any questions or comments? I’d love to discuss them with you. Drop them in the comments or reply to this email.
Here’s to your continued success in spotting deception when you hear it and read it.
Jack
PS: Want to see how these techniques can help you in business? Go to statementfox.com